How Shame Feels
13 Aug 2015

How Shame Feels

And yet I still feel like it

13 Aug 2015

And yet
I still feel like it was my fault
It wasn’t, they say
You didn’t want it
It’s never your fault
But what if it was
my feet too close to yours under the desk
the text messages racing back and forth at night
too late for good girls to be out after dark
my skirt too suggestive for work
hemlines whispering to you against my legs
my little banter with you
because I liked the attention at first
feeling the way someone else’s gaze fit on me,
new nerves lighting up my body
because I’ve been told, that’s a real woman’s worth.
And even though I never asked you
And even though I never let you
And even though it was only a minute
I am still speared by your stare
Trapped under the few rushed words
how different I am
how enchanting I am
how willing I am
things I wanted to believe about myself
until you said them, until
you stole them, until
I lost them.


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